In July of 2013, after completing LITTLE BIG MAN, I went into the hospital for one “routine” surgery. Thus began a year of hell. Here are some of my writings from this period of darkness, many influenced by being blasted out-of-my-mind on Dilaudid .Ultimately, these are the precursor to Rebuilding The Machine.
Hardest night and toughest morning yet. Realization that I am for the most part alone –and responsible for my own care– sinking in hard. Almost folded this morning. But that is now a few hours in the past and I am now warm and sitting in the sun, Ramone & GoGo nearby, just like they…
Depleted. Utterly. Freezing cold. Grateful. God. Thank you. I didn’t think I’d make it, really I didn’t. Leaving the hospital yesterday, I took a photo, arms –raised in victory. I took that photo for two reasons: 1. …THAT – that feeling of jubilation, is exactly what I was feeling. And 2. For IMAGE sake. For…
Cedars Sinai Hospital, it’s been an “interesting relationship” for the past 3 months. Ups and downs and then more of each. But bottom line…ya fixed me. And now…IM OUTTA HERE!t there “supporting me,” my blessings continue to multiply. Many ask me — “is there anything you need?” or “can I get you something?” My answer,…
Thank you all again for EVERYTHING… your prayers, your calls, your visits, your thoughts. They’ve all carried me through in what I alone made into a very difficult time for me. Until recently — VERY RECENTLY– I was ready to throw in… the towel. Tonight, on the eve of my 52nd Birthday, I am ready…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
Bolt upright in bed. Wracked by intensely deep and painful spasms in my quads, hams, butt & feet that had me screaming into my sheets for nearly 20 minutes. Now, just laying here. Basically afraid to move. The ward I am on is dark and eerily quiet. I know, I know, I gotta man up…
So, my BIGGEST concern, far and away, is to make sure Ramone & GoGo are ok. And…THEY ARE! Temporarily living in San Clemente and enjoying the beach and sunshine every day. YAY! In terms of people ou…
Ramone & GoGo just left the hospital to head to their new, temporary home in San Clemente. My heart is breaking already but I’ll get to see my babies 3 days from now, on Sunday, so that is something to look forward to. The BIGGEST, most H…EARTFELT “THANK YOU!!!” of all time, to Stephanie Amos,…
REBUILDING THE MACHINE. Hospitals can be funny places. Like…really funny. Here’s what came my way today: … A rectal swab 2. A blood draw (from my right arm, when I already have a PICC line in my left) 3. A hospital gown 4. After totally “fixing up”…
RAMONE & GOGO LOVERS — HELP PLEASE!!! I need to go to the hospital for several weeks for heavy antibiotic treatment & major surgery. I am ready to go, except for…I need to make arrangements for my Beautiful Babies. I need someone with …a real love of and understanding of the bully breeds. who will…
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