I oftentimes don’t know if I’m coming or I’m going, but I can tell you this…I’m dead set on living…living hard, living good, living fun, living committed….or I’ll damned-well do my best to die trying. I’m sure many people would think it would be cool to be called a “contradiction in terms”, or ”an enigma.” I’ve heard it many time in reference to myself, and think it all the time, but I’m not so sure it’s cool….at all.
It means that even in my world-weariest moments, I just haven’t grown up. When I think these thoughts, I like the idea of finding even-keel; maybe even “settling down.”
Then just as quickly, I love the idea of moving to Alaska to train for the Iditarod, or to the North Shore of Oahu to chase big waves, or to the forest of Oregon to learn the art of lumberjacking (tried that one and believe me when I tell you, I wasn’t so good at chopping down trees).…Life can change for me that quickly, and often has.
Contradiction in terms. Juxatoposition. In just about all things…
I’m just as apt to dig a bullet out of my belly as I am to cry at a ridiculous love story.
I don’t watch TV. (well, at least since Steve Carell left “The Office.”) I wouldn’t recognize Snooki or The Situation if I ran their asses over in my beat-to-hell Landrover. While the world sits on their collective asses playing video games, watching bad porn or watching the umpteenth spinoff of the retarded, midget-minded, “Housewives” franchise, I’m outside DOING SOMETHING.
I’ll not think twice about using words like “retarded” and “midget”, and will slough off the pinched-lipped looks of disapproval thrown my way by whatever mink-wearing bluebloods might be in earshot… again, because I’m not “their kind.” But while THEY –the priveleleged– may condescendingly “tolerate” others (you know, maybe donate a buck or two at a fancy luncheon) I am the first to jump to defend the weak. With action. But hell, I’ll even help THEM, the privileged, if they suddenly find themselves a victim of a pearl-jacking.
My best friends are career criminals. And spiritualists. And quick-on-the-trigger, hard-drinking street brawlers. And business leaders. And environmentalists/conservations. Illiterates. Prolific authors. They all have one thing in common. They are good people. Good, good people.