I Like to Fight BIG Pro Wrestlers

My victims include several well know wrestlers like The Ultimate Warrior and Bubba Ray Dudley

Bill Goldberg takes an airplane spin from Rick Bassman
“Goldberg goes for a ride. Now…WHO’s next?”

I like to “pick on” the big guys.  One of my favorite things is to “shoot” under a guy when he’s not looking, hoist him up and onto to my shoulders in a “fireman’s carry,” and quickly rotate in circles.  An “airplane spin” in pro wrestling parlance.   Bill Goldberg, Ken Shamrock, Don Frye (at Bas Rutten’s wedding), Raven, 6’7”, 300 lbs. Luke Gallows (who I dropped on his head in an all-night drunk fest at a bar in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo) and many, many others have fallen victim.  Maybe I do have a Napolean Complex after all!

I’ve gotten in a few near fights as well, with pro wrestling “Superstars.”  I’ve never taken kindly to being bullied, and refuse to back down.  In my experience, the bully himself will generally back down when bullied back.  Thus, guys –who absolutely started the trouble first– I’ve confronted and challenged, who backed down from me include

  • The Ultimate Warrior (smack in the middle of Gold’s Gym Venice, on a busy day)
  • Brian Knobbs,  (on set at CCW, in an RV, along with Brutus The Barber Beefcake, Dennis Rodman,  “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart, and Hulk Hogan, who nearly laughed his ass off when I verbally destroyed his pal)
  • Andrew “Test” Martin (God rest his soul) (on tour in South Africa)
  • Paul Orndorff (backstage at Herb Abram’s old UWF, at the height of Paul’s anabolic enhanced glory; a few of the boys, Bruno Sammartino and John Tolos included, were ribbing Paul, pointing at me and saying things like “Hey Mr. Wonderful , the kid looks better than you!”  This got Paul worked up, and he came after me).
Rick Golden and the Golden Boys of Pro-Wrestling “THIS is what Mr. Wonderful was jealous of?!?”

How I “choked out” Bubba Ray

And…Bubby Ray Dudley.  Ever since the first time I met Bubba, he has been, a…um…how do I say it?  Uh, he’s been a dick.  Okay, a complete total dick.  One night after a WWE show wraps up at the then Arrowhead Pond, I’m waiting with Edge and Lita for valet parking to deliver our cars.  Suddenly, something tightens across my throat, and I see the stars start to explode.  The grip loosens, and as I gasp for air, I hear the snide, sarcastic chuckle.  I turn around, and take in the cherubic, yet muscular form of Bubba Ray, towel in hand.  He’s laughing like it’s one giant rib.  But he and I are in no way the type of buddies that would facilitate a good-natured gag, and I gotta tell you, he damn near put me out.  As he cackles like some form of ‘effin idiot, trying to bring Edge and Lita in on the gag, they respond with a look I can only characterize as consternation.  And as he faces them, his back to me, I regain my breath, and think…fuck it. I run and leap up onto that giant back topped by the Zippy Pinhead noggin and in one deft move slap on a pretty darned near picture-perfect lion’s kill choke.  In seconds, he is down to one knee and gasping for breath.  I let him go when I know he’s instants away from going out and probably pissing his cammies.  As he struggles to regain his composure, I’m repaying the favor, slapping him on the back and baying like the dumb hyena.  He primary difference this time out?  Edge and Lita are having a real laugh.

Backstage in Japan with one of the NICEST guys in the business, and one of the biggest dickheads in the business.  Guess who’s who?
“Backstage in Japan with one of the NICEST guys in the business, and one of the biggest dickheads in the business. Guess who’s who?”

I’m not saying that I could have taken all of these guys, or any for that matter.  Maybe they just had presence of mind enough to realize that there was no upside in fighting a 5’4”, 135 pound Jewish Wrestling Promoter.

Who may have just kicked their asses in front of many of their prominent contemporaries.


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