I’m beyond exhausted, running on an average of 3 hours sleep per red-bull infused and scotch-laden nights. But it’s not just lack of rest. It’s EVERYTHING. Beyond stressed, in a time of my life when stress is behind me. Or at least, so I thought. Staving off a cold when I haven’t so much as sneezed in the past 4 years. I can say that the experiences of this week – an all-nighter in LA before a 24 hour trip, followed by city-to-city-to-city runs in Bangalore, Mumbai and Delhi with the venerable, challenging Guns N Roses—are what have done me in. But the truth is, I’ve done it to myself. Allowing situations and people that I should not allow get to me, get to me. That, combined with just-not-taking-care-of myself, has put me on the proverbial razor’s edge.
On the surface…travelling to exotic lands, working with amazing people, hosting an iconic artist which has long been a favorite…this is the type of life that I almost always feel blessed to live. But I’ve allowed myself to go the opposite direction. It’s up to me, and me alone, to put myself right. Breathe. Rest. Decompress.
What I’m feeling now very much reminds me of a time in my life when I took all that was on the surface, which was chaotic at best, and tragic at worst, internalized it, and manifested it in the most frightening way possible.