A seemingly stable life can change, just like….THAT. Not an excuse for my having not chosen and stuck to something, but…
Haven’t made what many would term great choices. But they were MY choices, and I have to live them.
Too old to “start over”
Rather than create a new “career” and stick with it, hoping to get it to work, which will then NATURALLY bring me happiness and success, I’m thinking that my best bet is to come to terms with how I live.
Flitting from place to place, thing to thing, “getting by.” And as long as Ramone and I have enough to eat, some semblance of shelter, and the ability to move around… if I can come to terms with THAT, and find TRUE PEACE in that, I’m good. I understand that this may not be the most ideal set-up from which to find stability, and surround myself with a loving family; the things I think I want. Or do I? For now, I’ll leave that I the hands of God, continue do the best that I know how…and just be. (And if along the way, something hits BIG, well then…great).
When Ramone and I play in the shore break of the Pacific Ocean on a warm Summer day, or stand atop a mountain on a cold Winter day, and take in a vista so beautiful it often takes my breath away, there is nothing that I /we don’t have. Sure, it would be nice to be holding hands with my daughter, or son, or loved and loving significant other. And to have a HOME to return to, roaring fire and all. But in my heart and mind, at these moments, I know that I/we have all. To me, this is fulfillment. It is peace. I ‘m progressively getting closer to this peace. Yet with each two –and sometimes, three—steps forward, I take one back. But the math is in my favor.